Nels Janel Garcia *JaNeL* Damn I never thought i'd be sitting here writing to you to express my emotions. Dam nels I miss you so much foo. Iam SO SO lost without you. like how em i suppose 2 make it with out you?! I remember all the KRAZY times we had 2gether! i miss that so much. i remember youd kall me n tell me foo im 5mins away be ready. or when we wld be drinking and you would tell me quit baby siting the bottle bud! or how we wld treat guys like shit. i will never 4give myself for not going to your funeral. i never got that chance to say my good byes to you. i swear i didn't know if i knew i woulda been there. i cry so much 4you, at nights i swear i can smell you at times i can hear you n c you in my dreams. then wake up so hurt i don't know how to deal with this I SWARE 4 The longest time i would leave my door unlocked because i knew youd come in my house slam my door and turn my music down it hurts wen i know that aint gunna happen again. dam please tell me wat happend!! i get sad then so mad 2 know we will never know wat happend to you. YA People say oh shes n a better place now. where the hell is this better place? away 4rm your kids? away 4rm da ones that love you? naw maybe im selfesh but id rather have you here i swear i cant hold these tears frm fallin down my face with all your laughs and smiles i swear the angels can hear you from many miles. when its cold i think damn my nigga is cold n there. or when its hott i think dam your hott in there it sucks i gota look at the wall n stare at your name i cry everytime i leave you. dam the kids are getting so big. oz is so beautiful she looks just like you. and eddie is sucha handsome young man. you would be very proud. you will never no how much you are missed. like for real. im way close with your mom now she helps me alot threw this hard time i respect her and love her 4 careing about me. i promised you when you were alive that if anything happend to you id never get another best friend and i haven't and never will! nobody can ever replace your spot in life and in my heart. i hang around my brother alot now and it trips me out because some of the things he does reminds me of you so much. he lost his best friend 2 so it's like god put us 2gether 2help eachother get threw this.I talk to him alot about you. i hope you know that i know we had are ups and downs and faught like we were married sumtimes haha but you know we were best friends and i appreciate everything that you did for me and elijah. and loved you very much. and i promise ainsley will pay for what he has done 2 you and all of us hes a bitch ass fuck face! and i swear i will do everything i can n court and make sure he pays!! he will rot n hell. i will never believe you killed yourself EVER! i knew you better then that! i hope you look down on me at times. and i hope your takeing kare of my daughter up there. and i hope when my time comes youll be there with my baby 2 open up them gates 4me... so just know i love you and till we meet again this is justa see ya later because i will never say gud bye your my best friend FOREVE..._ BUT no r because that wud b the end of forever I LOVE YOU JANEL!!! Nels Janel Gloria Garcia Born 07 30 1982 denver colorado usa Passed Away 06 29 2006 denver colorado usa Cemetery crown hill co USA Memorial Gardens